Almost One.

As I am sitting here, I can vividly remember where I was exactly this time last year. So vivid. So clear and yet so foggy.

I was deep in the labour process and really, really feeling it. For some reason, I feel so much more overwhelmed about this idea now. I am just blown away by what one can go through to get that little baby home. I was so focused on breathing and breathing and breathing... there was no time to actually think about what was really happening. It was just survival, until the next contraction.

In that fog, I remember one idea that kept me focused was seeing myself pushing our bright green stroller down the street with a baby finally in it. I pictured that stroller often, whenever I could. For some reason that really helped. The things that get you through.

And oh the things you don't know.

This time last year we were hours away from our baby girl, seeing her perfect little head and squinty eyes and long yellow fingernails. This time last year all of strength was being drawn to my belly and my brain as I felt wave after wave of my future approaching. She was so close, right there, just waiting for that perfect moment.

"Mom, you're not ready yet. I'm not ready yet, ok? Just a bit longer. Almost there. I can't wait to meet you".

Almost a year ago we had no idea what was coming. All the joy, mystery, exhaustion and bliss; all the confusion, worries and tests; all the moments of realization of what the rest of our lives would hold. How can one person, in one moment, alter the rest of all of your moments? None of my moments will ever be the same.

By having labour and delivery be such an emotional moment is almost like God's way of tattooing his love on us somehow. We couldn't possibly forget, even though the memories ebb and alter somewhat, we never truly forget what bringing our baby into the world was like. We went through so much to have this little person in our lives, and yet we still love that itty-bitty person to pieces. It is just an itty-bitty taste of the love that Christ has for us. So much pain and emotion for such a rich blessing. I get the gist of what God's love means. Just a taste, mind you.

So I send out all the love a mother can have for her child and I pour it out on my baby. My brave little baby girl who can't possibly be one year old! What a journey, in a mere 365 days, we've discovered so much already. What will tomorrow hold? What will the next 365 days hold? What will you teach me? How will you challenge me? Who will you help me become?

There is so much adventure out there and I want to have so many more adventures with you. One day at a time. I can't wait for tomorrow. I eagerly await every day I get to spend being your Mommy. What a gift.

I finally made a short little video about Piper's heart surgery. It's not much, but I know I always like looking at moving photos to get a real feel for what things were like.

Wow. So glad we can move on.