Merry Christmas to all.

Here is my attempt at a Christmas update. It's been kinda an amazing year, and there is lots to document, so it seemed silly to try to shove it all onto an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper. So this way, you can read as much or as little as you'd like.

As any parent can attest, your child takes up most of your life, and brain space. And this year was no exception to that. Our year was pretty much dominated by Piper and her many adventures.

The biggest deal for us this year was Piper's heart surgery. We waited and waited for it to happen, and it finally did, on March 25 of 2010. It went as smoothly as expected, with an excellent team of doctors and nurses at BC Children's Hospital. Piper recovered a touch slower than they thought, but we were still out of the hospital in one week, home just in time for Easter.

It was a pretty intense week, and looking back on it now, I feel flustered just thinking about it, but we had an unusual sense of peace and ease about the whole thing. We had great family and friends surround us throughout and we were so well taken care of. But upwards on onwards! All is well!

We've been in and out of the hospital this year for a few reasons, but one was that my Dad had a cancerous tumor removed from his liver, and just like Piper, he wowed us all with his recovery. He is in great health now, and coping well (though refuses to slow down and act like a retired old guy!). We also celebrated his 60th birthday in October, as a family.

In May, we all celebrated our birthdays with a big combined party. All good fun with lots of friends and family. It was a nice weekend in May, which was such a treat.

We got to take a few little trips this summer, one to Mayne Island to see my sister Sarah and her family, and one to Long Beach, and a few little beach trips in between. We kept it pretty simple this summer, trying not to spend too much money on summer trips, as we were saving up for a big winter trip... more on that soon :)

Early in the summer, I fully "launched" my business of graphic communication, which includes photography, graphic design and branding/logo work. I had been working at this for a while, but in June, I set it free with a great website. It was a lot of work, but it is now keeping me good and busy and I am loving all of it. This next year, I am hoping to continue shooting lots of weddings and portraits, but really aim at improving my graphic design skills. I also want to get a few more "post-production" clients, to work on their photo editing, which will maybe entail me getting a new, faster, shinier computer :) We'll see.

The fall involved getting back into a much needed routine, and getting used to life with a toddler. We got some family photos taken by a friend of mine, as Matt and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary. We treated ourselves to a swanky night out to see the Lion King live show.

We started a reno on our bedroom and my office: adding some wainscotting and sanding the hardwood floors and painting. We are still working on it, but it's coming! The only thing left to do in this house is our bathroom, and you better believe we're already thinking up ways on how to re-do it! We've got the gorgeous bathtub [in storage] to prove it!

I like our house a little more every time we put some blood/sweat/tears into it. It's a nice little home, and we are learning how to really take care of it all the time.

Another big thing to happen in the fall was that Matt left where he was working (cabinet door making shop). It seemed his work place wasn't a great fit for him and it was started to really effect him in ways that work shouldn't. He left before he could burn any bridges, and with his dignity still in tact.

It was a bit of a bold move, as he didn't have any work lined up next, but we decided it was better for him to be hungry than crazy. Of course, he fell into a nice temporary job of working on a home reno project on Pender Island for about 5-6 weeks (4 days working, 3 days at home), having a great time working with some of his best buddies. It was like boys-only summer camp over there: they dug holes, hammered nails and ate spaghetti all day long. And got paid for it. Come on. The only thing missing was arts and crafts time.

He is currently waiting on a few job offers to come through. We are trusting God to give him something that is going to lift him up and really fuel his desires. He's got a lot of talent and dreams, we are still just working on honing them to find what suits him best for work.

In November, we went back to the hospital for a check up for Piper and they found that there is a slight chance that they may have to do surgery again in the distant future. And her neutropenia has yet to clear up and ship out, too. We are playing the waiting-game yet again, and just waiting to see what her little heart is up to. There is nothing we can do, and there is nothing Piper can't do. She is as normal as kids come. You would never be able to tell that she's had open heart surgery. Except for her scar, that is continually improving.

So for now, we continue on as usual, just waiting to see what gets put in our path next. We'll head back in April for another check-up to see what is new.

And now, we are into the Christmas season. It is so lovely. We have slowed down our pace of life and are really trying to live as simply as we can these days.

On January 5th, we are taking off south for 2 weeks to visit Florida and the Caribbean British Virgin Islands. Ummm, yeah! We are pretty excited. We've scaled back our Christmas fun (as well as our summer fun, as mentioned earlier), so we can really enjoy our trip as much as we can!

In Florida, we will visit with a family I used to nanny for before I was married, and we'll hopefully just play on the beaches and see some sights. Matt and I might even dare to spend a day at Disney World, just the two of us.

Then off to the Caribbean for a week, with some friends of ours, to sail around on their 45 foot long sail boat! Oh my goodness. Wake me up! We are thrilled and really feel like this is a once in a lifetime sort of thing. I want to snorkel, see some cool geological formations and find out some cool historical facts while we're there. Everything else is a bonus.

So that has been our year, as scattered as it may seem, we've really enjoyed it all: ups, downs and everything. We eagerly look into 2011 which will include a way cool holiday for us, maybe finishing a home reno, planting a bigger and better garden, and even thinking about adding another little family member to the mess.

Again, like in all of life, we are taking it one step at a time, and whatever gets dealt to us, we take and work with. I am not planning anything, I just taking it as it comes. That is one thing that being a mother has taught me: just roll with it. I am tired of trying to control the wind. It's just not going to happen. So I might as well enjoy it.

We send you our warmest holiday wishes and hope you can spend this time doing something that you love with people you love even more.

Merry, merry Christmas to you all.

Frances, Matt and Piper.

Christmas time at Oma and Opa's! (early, to celebrate with everybody)

Piper decided to give everyone a good show.

Fun times with Uncle Jeff!

Lots of cool presents for all! (it's an old school 8mm movie projector)

Piper getting her first box of Duplo! (she loves it!)

Having a nap time on Daddy... she has been teething bad. Getting her 2 year old teeth already! She's almost got 20 teeth now. Ouch.

Found the wall mud. She decided the table needed to be filled in a bit.

Super baby.

Christmas time with friends! Had a blast with Colton and Abigail

The girls and their blankies. Don't you dare try to take those away.

Pig puppet.

They both had so much fun getting teased by Colton

Pig tails! First time ever! They only lasted a few minutes, but you can see how cute they look!

She loves having a sink full of water to play with.

Here comes the sad face...

Totally pulling this for effect...

Trying to peek out of one eye, to see if this is working.

Fun giggly times with Daddy.

She loves playing with these cat toys. Thanks Gram.

Normally can't get a smile and the toothbrush in one shot, but here it is! She does not like brushing her teeth.

Alas... she is getting so grown up.

Dealing.

I find myself concerned about Piper's health more these days. I really don't want to be, and I honestly feel like I don't need to be. But I am. I'm her mom. I guess it's my job.

Timing is everything, I guess. November never feels like a great month for me. Maybe I feel a little more hit by this new news just due to the timing.

If I am really honest with myself, I am secretly screaming inside that I don't want to do surgery again. Everevereverever again. As much as I glorify the experience we had, I don't want to do it again. I just don't (insert pouty face here).

I need to keep telling myself the same thing I keep telling other people: there is a chance this might not happen at all, and all of this will blow over.

I have to keep remembering that. But I know that we will always be a little worried now that something might come up. Before, we were pretty confident that this one time fix should have fixed everything, but I should know better. Never underestimate the power of that little heart of hers.

I am slowly and surely giving this up to God, but it's not as easy as all that. There is nothing I can do or not do. That's the best part and the worst part.

Matt is in his third week of work away on Pender Island and so far it's been pretty good. This has been the first week I have really been feeling alone, hence the gloomier thoughts, hence the moody personality (can I blame that for my bad spelling and slow typing speed, too?)

He brought home a huge bucket load of apples last week and we've made about 30+ litres of apple sauce, which has been great! Bonus. And he gets to work pretty much as many hours as a human body can take. Always fun.

Knowing that this is not permanent really helps. This is not a normal way to live a life. I have a new appreciation for those single moms out there. This is totally possible, and somedays, even easy. But this is not desirable. I can see an end in sight, and can focus on that.

Otherwise, I am really busy with work and doing my best to keep up. That balance is really feeling strained now that I really have to work to find extra time at home, between naptime/bedtime.

And a new feat for us all is going soother free! Well, I mean, for Piper of course, but we are all kinda journeying through it.

We have been sorta trying to get her off of her soother for a little while, by cutting it out of the daytime, reserving it only for naptime and bedtime and she was doing pretty well. Until something switched and she just needed it all day long for some reason.

Anyways, then something else happened. The pumpkin patch.

We went with a long lost friend of mine from high school (must check out her blog - such good stuff goes on there all the time!), and some time between sharing popcorn with this little monkey-boy on the hayride

and collecting her cute little pumpkin, her soother disappeared.

I am calling it divine providence. Whatever it was, it worked. She was mad for a few days, and nights and naptimes were a little trying for a while, but she got over it. She coped, and we are all surviving without her soother. And now that it's gone, I am so glad to be rid of it! One less thing to worry about. I am hoping this will help her to develop a few more of her words, too, which seem to be slow in coming, but I know every kid develops at their own pace. Right now, I think she has more signs than she does words.

She can sign : cat, dog, bird, please, poop, change, cheese, eat, milk, more, water, bath, hot.

She can say: yeah, no, up, mommy, dadda, all done (aaaah-daaa), hot, and lots of other words from foreign languages yet to be discovered.

Alas, this post is getting garbled and nonsensical. And I using words like nonsensical.

I should probably go to bed. No fear. All is well on this front, just processing lots of life things at the moment, but usually able to take it all in stride.

Funny odds.

Do you know that every child born has a 1/100th of a chance to be born with a heart defect?

Well, they do. In my mind, that is rather large. I understand why it happens, as the heart is one of the first things to develop in that wee little baby, and it is not a very easy process, so error tends to happen.

Our next baby (whenever that happens) will have an increased chance of 3/100 to be born with a heart defect. I can't speak for my babies babies, but I am assuming it will be higher still.

Not cool. Not fun. But all very fixable these days.

Today, when we were at BCCH, we were told that there is a 50% chance that Piper could have to have surgery again.

After an lengthy process to get to her echo, the results showed that there was still some muscle bundles in her right ventricle, which could eventually make her heart work harder than it needs to.

Settle down, now. The doctors are not worried in the slightest. Really, I could see it on their faces; calm as medical cucumbers. Apparently when the surgeon was in there operating, he could see these muscle bundles, as Piper had grown quite a good amount to compensate for her strange blood flow. He chose not to remove these ones because it would have been too much on her little heart to remove such a large mass of goods, as that would up her chances for failure. He believed there was a good chance that those bundles would dissolve or stretch on their own and possibly not cause any problems. It was worth the risk.

But now, after looking at her heart 8 months post-op, they see that those muscle bundles are still around and now we just wait to see what they do. It turns out that they change the pressure from the heart to the lungs, as one wants the pressure in the heart to be around 30 (don't know what kind of units?) and right now Piper's an over-pressurized amount of 40-50. That number is totally fine and they don't see any issues with that (Dr's exact words were "it's not trivial, but it's not major") , but if it were to go out higher, say to 100, then that would be something to worry about.

Yes, they said that there is a chance we could do this all over again. The repair would be quite straight forward and they would do it later in her life (I naturally assumed like at the 5 year mark? Just a guess), but it could happen. BUT it could also not happen, just as much. Like I said, 50/50. There is just as good a chance those muscle bundles will shrink away as her heart grows, or stretch out, giving her heart more room for good blood to be swooshing in and out of there.

Or, the muscle bundles grow and make it more and more work for Piper to breath, leading to shortness of breath during activities etc.

The doctors stressed that there was nothing to worry about, and even if the muscle bundles did grow, it might only be a shortness of breath issue, not a life-or-death issue.

I am trying my hardest to take the doctors advice and not worry, but, as all mothers know, you can't help but worry a little. A flurry of things flash before my eyes: the echo 6 months down the road, when Piper is almost 2. The meeting with the doctors telling us the news. Us going home with said news and dealing with what we've heard. I hate how my mind always flies to the worst scenario, but it does!

As of right now though, Piper is doing just fine. Really, and honestly. If you feel her heart with your hand, you can still feel a slight murmur (swooshy, frothy fluttering), and when you listen to it, you can still hear a distinct murmur, but the noise level doesn't really have anything to do with anything... but just saying, she does not have a lovely lub-dub heartbeat like you and me.

She was sedated for her echo which was the best idea ever. She never slept from it, but she was so much calmer, and kinda drunk (which is always funny, regardless of age).

Hematology had nothing new to tell us. Her neutrophils are up a tiny bit from 0.1 to 0.41!!! Wow! They should be somewhere around 7-8 I think, in a child this size. Yeah, she definitely still has this auto-immune neutropenia. Big time.

Our hematologist said that we don't really need to see him again for another 6 months (as did cardio... did I say that?), just with one blood test in three months done locally. He is really hoping to see something change around the 2 year mark, which is just before the next time we see him. I am not counting on much, though he did clearly say that it is very unlikely that this will be her normal. This is not normal, and she should grow out of it soon. Or else???

And also, that the fact that she has been sick for a while has nothing to do with her lack of neutrophils, but only her lymphocytes, which apparently are fine. So I will stop using that as an excuse for her being sick all the time. She is a toddler, it's just the way it is: always having a runny nose and some sort of cough.

Gosh, this is getting long.

Wrapping up! I will try to post a little more often, as it does sorta help this whole process... but for now, here are some pictures of Piper I am still unburying from the summer months.

Loves that free tricylcle... even when it tips over almost every time she plays on it.

Fun times at White Rock beach.

The infamous underwear snatcher. And yes, I have a ridiculous selection of undies, but Piper will try to put them all on her head. There is no point in organizing my drawer anymore because it brings her such joy destroying it :)

Dates Booked

Just a note, this is where we were this time last year!! So crazy when I think about it.

Anyways, all is well in Piper-land. We measured her on the wall the other day, and she has almost grown 1/2 inch in a month! So something is working right ;)

We now have all sorts of dates booked, and as usual, they all happen around the same time.

November 2nd, we'll go for Piper's Cardiology appointment at 10:30, followed by her Hematology appointment at 12:30.

I am not too nervous or anything about those, as it feels kinda routine now. I am looking forward to a nice, normal echo and no surprises. She might have to be sedated for her echo this time, as last time it was a no go, due to her being a maniac. We'll see how it goes... it only involves a little bit of starving beforehand (fun!).

The cardio team has been great, and I look forward to seeing them again.

Then hematology, which for some reason, just makes me a tiny bit more nervous. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. There: I admit it. Piper will be almost 1 1/2 this time, which means her neutropenia could be totally cleared up, but I don't think it is. She has been sick pretty much constantly since September or earlier. I am sure all parents go through this with their kid: one cold after another after another, but I secretly worry that Piper just takes forever to get better because her blood is working extra hard to make things happen. Or nothing does happen.

This latest cough that she has, which is different than the one she got rid of just before Thanksgiving, is lingering and not changing. Just hanging around and sounding like she is dying. You get quite the looks from people when Piper hacks like that in public. Like I should be putting one of those masks on her or something. Yikes.

The strange thing is, Matt or I haven't been sick yet, or not the same sort of sick. Matt usually feels it slightly in his through maybe, but never a cough. And I just haven't been sick in, well, a long time (knock on wood!!). So that makes me wonder if it is just Piper holding onto that cold, after it's lost all of it's contagiousness, due to her inability to fight it.

We might never know. I am just hoping these appointments go well, which I am sure they will.

Next will be her 12 month shots which she is cleared to have. Nothing to worry about, but I am glad we got it checked out. Those happen later that week, on the 5th. Hooray. Then she'll have to be booked for her 18 month shots probably for the next month.

Otherwise, Piper is just like any other kid. Her heart never seems to slow her down, and her colour is always great. She eats awesome, no allergies or crazy food aversions, she is still interested in breast-feeding though also liked her cows milk.

Piper's favourite things lately:

* water: she often gets in the shower with me in the morning (I have no say in the matter) and ends the day getting into the tub with Matt.

* books: again, will often start and end her day reading, and any amounts of quick reads inbetween

* pencil crayons/pens/pencils: anything that she can make a mark on something, usually paper, but out magazines and some cookbooks have been victimized.

* dried fruit: those raisins in the little red box... don't tell the dentist.

* getting dressed: almost every day Piper will put somebodies clothes over her head. My underwear, her shirts, undershirts, headbands... anything. If it's got a whole in it, it's going around her neck. We have pulled off at least 11 layers of clothes from her at one time.

We wouldn't trade her for anything. We are so glad to be entering this next toddler phase and putting the drama of this year behind us. It feels good to be moving forward.

In other news, Matt has quit his job of machining cabinet doors and is currently taking a semi break from work-searching. He has some work lined up for the month of November, here and there, but he is just taking it easy. There was some emotional stress happening at his job that wasn't worth sticking around for, so we are taking a bit of a risk, stepping out of a job into a not-so-secure future. I can work more for my own business, but we will still be cutting back life costs a great deal. We'll see how we do. Already, even in this short amount of time, God has provided some great opportunities for us both. We have no reason to be worried in the slightest. And we are both secretly looking forward to this time to really be a family and consider the things that we truly need to function. It's going to be a good reflective time.

And here, are some pictures that a friend of mine, Winona, took of us in September, and I am finally sharing them. We both love how they turned out. Winona did a great job :) I wanted to get some good ones of Matt and I, as we celebrated our 5 year anniversary this July!

Enjoy!