The "Plan".

I put plan in quotations because I know these things can change rather quickly, so don't think I'm one of those "planners" who needs it all to go according to plan, but I do feel I need to have one in place to function. Savvy?

So, the plan for tomorrow is as follows:

• wake up around 5:30 am, get everything in the car, eat a little bit and at the very last moment, put Piper in the car. She won't be able to eat or drink anything, so I'm hoping she stays sleepy or at least entertained by the car ride. (we are using Matt's work car, the Yaris, this week due to it's fuel efficiency and how well it fits into Vancouver parking stalls. Cha-ching!)
• Leave around 6am, get to the hospital around 7ish and sign her into the day-care clinic. Here she might get her blood pressure taken, temp and some other vitals. Good luck guys! This baby is gonna be hungry and pissed at you regardless. That is my prediction.
• At some point near the end, after she's in her little robe, with maybe a bit of stuff on her hand to numb it for the IV, she'll be given midazolam to calm her down and remove her fear and anxiety. It also kinda makes her look and sound pretty drunk. But this is a nice way for her to calm down and not remember the next little while. I'll have to remember to say a proper goodbye before she gets it, as last time I kinda missed out on that.
• Around 8am she will be getting handed off to a nurse or possibly the anaesthesiologist (A) to start some more serious sedation. The A we saw on Monday was awesome (pretty much a 40+ surfer dude, with a very groovy vibe) and said we might be able to go a little further with her, maybe able to be with her as her IV gets put in. We'll see. They usually want to keep parents out of the serious stuff and keep them in the waiting areas.
• Then, we'll leave our numbers on the white board and we'll head to breakfast at a pannakoek house. We'll try to relax, try to chat. Try to imagine we are just having a random breakfast in Vancouver with nothing else to do.
• Maybe then we'll go to MEC, as we've got a bit of a list of things to look at there, and now have some birthday money :)
• We'll try to head back for about 11am, as they said surgery should take approximately 4 hours, so we'd like to be there early. We might wait in the ICU waiting room, have a snack, read, or watch something (gotta remember to bring headphones!)
• Then we'll get to talk to the surgeon (can I tell you again how wonderful he is!) and get the run down on what happened in the OR.
• After this, we should be able to go and see her in the ICU. Apparently, she will come out of the OR extubated, which is a huge step! This is all due to a new drug they use that speeds recovery and helps enormously with post-op pain etc. I will get the name for you all, but at the moment all I can remember is "dexa-___-___-___-ene" or something like that. Anyways, she will not be on a ventilator, but will probably still have oxygen up her nose. She'll have only 1 chest tube, and still have the pacer wires that are there just in case she needs a "jump" (bad joke), which they've told us is quite unlikely. She'll have a central line in her neck, and an IV and blood-withdrawing line in her hand. No feeding tube down the nose/throat this time, as they are saying that with this new drug, she could most likely be eating the next morning. Say whaaaaat? Yeah, big things have happened in 14 months.
• Then we'll see what needs to happen, and how Piper is doing. We'll bring snacks and books and see what we want to do. We might step out for some lunch, or visit some of the people we know in the hospital. Tomorrow is a flexible day.
• After the most of the day (we like to meet the night nurse, so after 7:30pm), we'll see how Piper is doing, and whether or not we come home for a sleep or stay with my sister and bro-in-law at UBC. If Piper is looking like she might be quite alert, we might want to stay close, but if she seems like she might need to sleep things off, we might head home. I am leaning towards coming home as I know the next few days will be a little tiring, so it's always nice to be in your own bed. Not sure yet. We're packing our sleepover clothes, but we're leaving that up in the air.

That is all I can think of for now. The day might go very differently, and I almost assume it will, but it will resemble this "plan" somewhat. I am excited to see the changes that have gone on in the recovery/surgery process and how this second time around might almost be like a first time around. I am excited for a bit of down time with Matt, even though it's always a little tense, we'll try to keep things light and just spoil ourselves a little. I am a little nervous of what the surgeon sees when they finally have a good look at Piper. You just never know. I am hoping for no surprises.

Tonight I went through some serious waves of emotions, starting from "I just don't want to do any of this!" to "why don't we just go to bed right now" to "let's get organized and make this happen". I know this is the best thing for Piper at the moment, I just always feel like dragging my feet a little. Argh, but I don't at the same time (see: waves). I was worried today that she might have been sick, from a fluke throw-up from a cousin yesterday night, but she seems more than fine. This really does seem to be a go. I remember doing this last time, and looking back, I feel like I was waaaay more organized. Maybe this is almost a comparison to having a second child: sure you know what is coming and how the whole thing goes, but you're always a little surprised once it actually happens and you have to do it all over again.

What I mean to prepare myself for is, this might not be as easy as I have made it out to be in my head. I am prepared to work a little harder this time.

Anyways, our bags our packed, including two food/snack bags (thanks friends! these bags would have been pretty boring, or completely pre-packaged without you!), a toy bag and a clothes bag for Piper and a clothes bag for us (+ some reading material). I think we can do this. I know we can do this. We're doing it now, so there is no going back.

This time next week, I will most likely have a sleeping 2 year old in the other room, who is just about back to her normal self, having been home for a few days. I look forward to those days. This will come and go so fast.

Thank you all for all your love, support and kind words. A friend reminded me today that it's ok to fall apart sometimes, and that is what good friends are for: to pick you back up and bake you cookies. I haven't fallen apart yet, but it's nice to know I can at any given time and that I have a host of people who are willing to help out.

Once again, I am blown away by the love that surrounds us and surrounds Piper. Thank you for bearing a bit of this burden as we journey through this. We're so glad we're not doing this alone.