Thinking of leaving... 3 days left to wait.

When will our child be ready to move out of the ICU?:

There are a few things that need to happen before Piper can leave the ICU.

- she needs to be breathing on her own without the help of the ventilator,

- her blood pressure and heart rhythms are stable and

- any bleeding from her chest tube is under control.

I can say all of things now and it seems like not a big deal, and maybe it isn't all... but maybe it is? I did hear some really encouraging news from a friend who has a nurse it the family who explained Piper's situation to. The nurse kinda laughed it off saying, "oh, she'll be out of the ICU in no time and those babies recover so fast". She really implied there was nothing to worry about. Really. I like that kind of news, and I usually feel that way most of the time.

Anyways, they say here there is always a chance of moving back to the ICU if there are complications, but I am feeling pretty good that there won't be any.

Leaving the ICU:

This next section, this book makes a really good point: that once our baby leaves the ICU, we may feel a bit relieved, as the high-stress zone is behind us, but the next "zone" isn't necessarily more stress, but it is certainly more work. On 3M (the recovering ward), there won't be the same kind of monitoring and attention as there is on the ICU. Good thing and a bad thing. This means that we parents will be doing a lot more of it. Good thing and a bad thing. They really brace you for being just as exhausted/overwhelmed as you were in the ICU, "yet you still have new people to meet and a new system to learn."

I am glad they mentioned that. I kinda put a lot of weight in the ICU time, thinking "once we get through that, it will be much smoother sailing". Right? Maybe not so much. It's that same realization after you've had your baby and think "so, I am the person responsible now? This is all up to me?". Takes a minute to sink in.

Hopefully by the time she is ready to me moved, we will have a better grip on her situation and how she is doing and know how to handle her a bit better. It won't be such a mystery anymore.

So on Monday (yes, that is tomorrow!), we will visit all of these places, so maybe we'll have a better idea of what to expect. I think that will help solidify the space in my mind a bit more. That always helps: kinda pre-visualizing.

They do make an interesting point in this book, saying that we should "start preparing to go home on Day 1- start learning what you need to know as soon as possible". What an excellent idea. I mean, we would be thinking of going home, of course, but maybe we should be taking more active notes, or trying to imagine how this care would work in our home situation. And again, pre-visualizing, seeing our baby home and us taking care of her and knowing what is best and feeling confident in our decisions and just plain knowledgeable on her condition. Yes, we need to constantly learning how to take care of her (isn't that a parent's eternal job anyways?) and imagining us doing it on our own.

The days are really counting down now. But I am mostly feeling ok. Really. Just like anything, it comes in waves, but today, right now, I am feeling good.